I need to vetch.
I like conferences that do something. I'm not in effing high school and don't want to spend my free time at an effing rally.
I get super anxious when people waste my time.
I get even more anxious when they serve me stuff I don't eat after being told three times "soy-free, gluten-free vegan" and filling it out on my conference registration form. They slid me some soy today and now all I want is to curl up into a ball to relieve these stomach cramps... But I'm stuck at a grown up pep rally.
And dudes are sketchy. I want my bed and señor rana.
I'm grateful that I have a bed to go home to. I'm grateful that I can hop in the car and run to the grocery store on my way home from this conference. I'm thankful for good advice and intuition and being able to research natural tummy ache remedies.
Slapping on my happy boots and enjoying this evening.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Fitting in
Conformity isn't the enemy. It's a lack of awareness of both self and one's surroundings that is what we all need to surmount.
I reached a goal that I've been looking forward to for weeks. To celebrate I could have indulged in potato chips, made myself a lavish dinner or even gone out and bought something, but I didn't. I came home and tried on every piece of clothing I still have in the house that was too small for me months ago. Some of these things still have their tags and one was my high school prom dress. Only four things still don't fit as well as I'd like them to: my prom dress doesn't have breathing room, a skirt I fell in love with doesn't zip, a business dress is too tight around the hips and the goal bathing suit still doesn't look right.
The goal bathing suit is an initial goal- I want to be in it at the beginning of the summer... There's another I have in mind that's more ambitious. It's Marilyn Monroe in royal blue. It's scrumptious and I've never owned nor worn anything like it in my life. I've made it my goal for labor day or before. I also made it into a reward and check point: anytime I really want potato chips I have to put the amount that a bag of my favorite chips would cost into a cup in the kitchen. It already has 13 dollars in it. That way 1, I don't have the cash for those chips on hand and 2, when time comes, I'll have the cash for a stellar suit.
I reached a goal that I've been looking forward to for weeks. To celebrate I could have indulged in potato chips, made myself a lavish dinner or even gone out and bought something, but I didn't. I came home and tried on every piece of clothing I still have in the house that was too small for me months ago. Some of these things still have their tags and one was my high school prom dress. Only four things still don't fit as well as I'd like them to: my prom dress doesn't have breathing room, a skirt I fell in love with doesn't zip, a business dress is too tight around the hips and the goal bathing suit still doesn't look right.
The goal bathing suit is an initial goal- I want to be in it at the beginning of the summer... There's another I have in mind that's more ambitious. It's Marilyn Monroe in royal blue. It's scrumptious and I've never owned nor worn anything like it in my life. I've made it my goal for labor day or before. I also made it into a reward and check point: anytime I really want potato chips I have to put the amount that a bag of my favorite chips would cost into a cup in the kitchen. It already has 13 dollars in it. That way 1, I don't have the cash for those chips on hand and 2, when time comes, I'll have the cash for a stellar suit.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
peanut butter and potato chips
It's been a stressful week. The vacation surge of everything wonderful that could possibly be in the world came crashing down abruptly this week.
I could give you the laundry list of terrible things, irritating things and things that shouldn't be things as excuses, but I'd rather spare us the stress and just suffice it to say that I had a horrible week eating. No animals were involved, but I'm pretty sure I spent more on potato chips than I did at the co-op and that wasn't smart of me.
I feel it too, this large step backwards that I've decided to take. I'm bloated, I'm cranky and though the clothing that now fits me continues to fit well, it's as though my face even feels fatter.
I've crawled into some habits that have never served me well, expecting that feeling in control would somehow make this situation feel better, but it's not.
It's funny (ironic, not haha) how when you do something that you know that you shouldn't, sometimes you'll do something else to try and control it or cover it up, rather than realizing that it's a problem and eliminating it.
I know that I have a problem with several trigger foods: potato chips, crackers, pizza and almost any type of sweet imaginable. I also know that I feel awful when I eat dairy, meat, eggs, gluten and soy. I think these foods for me are just like those toxic people in life- there's no reason to try and moderate them... you just have to cut them out of your life.
So, I'm saying 'bye bye' to them tonight and hello to all of the wonderful and delicious fruits and veggies at my disposal.
I'm looking forward to some sumptuous Nori Maki, Broccoli, carrot and beet salad, Beet, carrot, diakon and sea veggie salad, and Green herb soup before heading to my conferences later this week.
I could give you the laundry list of terrible things, irritating things and things that shouldn't be things as excuses, but I'd rather spare us the stress and just suffice it to say that I had a horrible week eating. No animals were involved, but I'm pretty sure I spent more on potato chips than I did at the co-op and that wasn't smart of me.
I feel it too, this large step backwards that I've decided to take. I'm bloated, I'm cranky and though the clothing that now fits me continues to fit well, it's as though my face even feels fatter.
I've crawled into some habits that have never served me well, expecting that feeling in control would somehow make this situation feel better, but it's not.
It's funny (ironic, not haha) how when you do something that you know that you shouldn't, sometimes you'll do something else to try and control it or cover it up, rather than realizing that it's a problem and eliminating it.
I know that I have a problem with several trigger foods: potato chips, crackers, pizza and almost any type of sweet imaginable. I also know that I feel awful when I eat dairy, meat, eggs, gluten and soy. I think these foods for me are just like those toxic people in life- there's no reason to try and moderate them... you just have to cut them out of your life.
So, I'm saying 'bye bye' to them tonight and hello to all of the wonderful and delicious fruits and veggies at my disposal.
I'm looking forward to some sumptuous Nori Maki, Broccoli, carrot and beet salad, Beet, carrot, diakon and sea veggie salad, and Green herb soup before heading to my conferences later this week.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Enamorada
I am in love.
If you didn't know that I was in Spain before, let me tell you I arrived in Barcelona this afternoon and after figuring out the far too sophisticated lighting system in my tiny yet incredibly well situated hotel room, I caught up on my email and found the nearest vegetarian restaurant.
Madrid doesn't have veggie restaurants (not that my hometown does)- I had to negotiate with the waiters in half of the restaurants to convince them that I really did just want salad. Here I've found half a dozen through different websites and I'm going to see how many I can stop into.
The reason I'm so in love right now is multifaceted. Look at the pics and then I'll explain.
The food looked better than it tasted. There was no spice palette. But the ambiance made the under ten euro meal more than a value. The lights were subdued with mismatching shades over each table and the saffron and almond painted brick walls were adorned with contemporary interpretations of Gaudi's work. It's fun to look at your surroundings and get goosebumps.
If you didn't know that I was in Spain before, let me tell you I arrived in Barcelona this afternoon and after figuring out the far too sophisticated lighting system in my tiny yet incredibly well situated hotel room, I caught up on my email and found the nearest vegetarian restaurant.
Madrid doesn't have veggie restaurants (not that my hometown does)- I had to negotiate with the waiters in half of the restaurants to convince them that I really did just want salad. Here I've found half a dozen through different websites and I'm going to see how many I can stop into.
The reason I'm so in love right now is multifaceted. Look at the pics and then I'll explain.
The food looked better than it tasted. There was no spice palette. But the ambiance made the under ten euro meal more than a value. The lights were subdued with mismatching shades over each table and the saffron and almond painted brick walls were adorned with contemporary interpretations of Gaudi's work. It's fun to look at your surroundings and get goosebumps.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
The joy of traveling
I am grateful for so many things in this world; many of which I completely took for granted before:
Being born when and where I was. I may not have loved it all of the time, but I was cared for and had opportunities that I was truly blessed by.
Learning what I have learned and traveling where I've gone. I haven't always realized how amazing it was while I was on the journey, but it brought me here and here is a happening place.
The joy of all of this is that I'm in Madrid visiting my host family from when I was a student here in college. My host mom is a wonderful person, but has her own opinions on food and health. Luckily she respects my views and we meet on a lot of the same issues: the quality of meat and additives, the treatment of animals, the health benefits of a good diet. I felt guilty telling her and explaining my dietary restrictions, especially since she likes to cook for me, but she's been amazing. She made me this great veggie soup and fabulous salad and brought me out to dinner the night before last to a place that had more than just salads for the vegan palate. It was roasted vegetables, but I fully enjoyed it.
The only minor irritation in this otherwise fabulous trip is the need felt by my friends here to "town crier" my dietary habits to everyone they talk to. I don't like being a conversation piece.
That and I miss my green smoothies and my kitchen- though the lentils with paprika I had today were delicious.
Being born when and where I was. I may not have loved it all of the time, but I was cared for and had opportunities that I was truly blessed by.
Learning what I have learned and traveling where I've gone. I haven't always realized how amazing it was while I was on the journey, but it brought me here and here is a happening place.
The joy of all of this is that I'm in Madrid visiting my host family from when I was a student here in college. My host mom is a wonderful person, but has her own opinions on food and health. Luckily she respects my views and we meet on a lot of the same issues: the quality of meat and additives, the treatment of animals, the health benefits of a good diet. I felt guilty telling her and explaining my dietary restrictions, especially since she likes to cook for me, but she's been amazing. She made me this great veggie soup and fabulous salad and brought me out to dinner the night before last to a place that had more than just salads for the vegan palate. It was roasted vegetables, but I fully enjoyed it.
The only minor irritation in this otherwise fabulous trip is the need felt by my friends here to "town crier" my dietary habits to everyone they talk to. I don't like being a conversation piece.
That and I miss my green smoothies and my kitchen- though the lentils with paprika I had today were delicious.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Something new
I've needed change, but fortunately a part of me realizes that change comes in baby steps and not all at once- Kris Carr mentioned in a recent interview that 78% of New Year's resolutions fail because people come in with an all or nothing attitude.
What I've done right is taking my dietary changes step by step... Vegan was established before I got rid of gluten and then soy. Weight has been dropping. I'm down 24 pounds in approx 8 weeks, but I've had more potato chips in the past two weeks than I've had in the past three years I've lived in my house.
So, here's the next change- all raw and all natural. I've chucked the non-natural make up and done a re-haul in the bathroom and kitchen. I'm going for it.
I was overwhelmed with it today- I felt like potato chips and dwelling on something that needed some of my attention and I gave it too much attention because I was nervous and I was avoiding going to Albany and doing the food prep I needed to for tomorrow.
Truth of the matter was that I felt overwhelmed. I had a fridge full of food and a list of multi ingredient recipes that gave me nightmare flashbacks to the brendan brazier book and spending hours in the kitchen to make one recipe (incredibly delicious recipe, but still- I have a lot more to do besides slaving over the blender and salad shooter). I felt resentful towards these recipes and the people who gave them to me- "don't they know how busy I am? Don't they know that most of us have jobs and bills and laundry?" I didn't get into the kitchen until 10:51, but by 12:30 I had three meals made, dishes done and not only planned the following three days of meals, but rearranged my refrigerator so that the ingredients for each day are grouped.
I was stoked. I came upstairs, hung laundry, changed sheets and caught up on some things I've been meaning to listen to. It's late, but I feel far better than I did four hours ago.
It really does boil down to just making ourselves do the things we fear or dread rather than waiting to feel like it.
What I've done right is taking my dietary changes step by step... Vegan was established before I got rid of gluten and then soy. Weight has been dropping. I'm down 24 pounds in approx 8 weeks, but I've had more potato chips in the past two weeks than I've had in the past three years I've lived in my house.
So, here's the next change- all raw and all natural. I've chucked the non-natural make up and done a re-haul in the bathroom and kitchen. I'm going for it.
I was overwhelmed with it today- I felt like potato chips and dwelling on something that needed some of my attention and I gave it too much attention because I was nervous and I was avoiding going to Albany and doing the food prep I needed to for tomorrow.
Truth of the matter was that I felt overwhelmed. I had a fridge full of food and a list of multi ingredient recipes that gave me nightmare flashbacks to the brendan brazier book and spending hours in the kitchen to make one recipe (incredibly delicious recipe, but still- I have a lot more to do besides slaving over the blender and salad shooter). I felt resentful towards these recipes and the people who gave them to me- "don't they know how busy I am? Don't they know that most of us have jobs and bills and laundry?" I didn't get into the kitchen until 10:51, but by 12:30 I had three meals made, dishes done and not only planned the following three days of meals, but rearranged my refrigerator so that the ingredients for each day are grouped.
I was stoked. I came upstairs, hung laundry, changed sheets and caught up on some things I've been meaning to listen to. It's late, but I feel far better than I did four hours ago.
It really does boil down to just making ourselves do the things we fear or dread rather than waiting to feel like it.
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