Feast

Such deliciousness going on. Fresh, healthy-ish and inexpensive. I'm enjoying the heck out of this fall's offerings.

I just put the garden to bed for the winter. I'm so grateful for the astounding amount of delicious veggies my plants produced, even late this fall. I had enough acorn squash to give a bunch away and still have more to roast and make soup. I have buttercup squash and some baby pumpkins. The tomatillos were plentiful: I fixed them raw with peppers and onions first as a salad with cilantro and later with olive oil, white beans and cheese. Warm I put them into an omelette... I may make a pass at sautéing some up ala gluten free fried tomatoes.

I'm all about omelettes, lentil soups, beans and greens. Popcorn with honey and Parmesan is a go to as well as pseudo macaroons: coconut, oat flour and either brown rice syrup or agave. I'm also in love with nutmeg and mulling spices. I've been adding mulling spices to kombucha... Amazeballs.

I like feeling like (and knowing) there's plenty for me to have even as I work toward a solid month gluten and sugar free.

Fad(dy)

I love sushi. I would absolutely move to a foreign country with it after two dates. I would allow Ryan Gosling to play sushi should a movie be made about our relationship ... That's true love.

I was fortunate to get to travel down to NYC and stay with one of my gurus/ friends for the weekend. We attended super fun workshops and ate amazingly.

To be honest, I've been inundated with how trendy ramen is becoming in the US. I heard another interview on it today- it was about schmaltz, ramen and roasted porcupine fat... Andrew Zimmerman was being interviewed. I'm not a fan of having things because they're so hot right now. I'm a fan of having things that I like... And I'm a fan of this comfort food movement. Hold the mashed potatoes for me... Maybe I'll quality control the Mac and cheese (I'm figuring out a gf version), but bring on the ramen. Worth the gluten hangover this trip.

Sooo delicious.

The in between time: end of August to mid-September

Not perfect. Some bingey-ness. Lots of stress.

Stuffing for zucchini: medium sausage, rice, garbanzos, garlic and greens with a little bells seasoning. Wicked tasty.

Tomato, cucumber and radish salad. Cukes and tomatoes from the garden.

Stuffed pepper at work. Pepper from my Aunts garden.

Breakfast of champions: super greens mix with rice protein powder and water. Oatmeal and raisins.

Cake for grandma's b-day. I had a slice and some pizza (but layed off of the chips and dip)

Three types of fermented yumminess.

Steak and cucumber melon salad.

Korean BBQ pork ribs, rice, tomato, mozz, basil and cucumbers.

My first grape harvest! First year they bore fruit and this is what I got!

Chicken, celery and onion salad. Aunt's tomatoes, mozz and basil.

Greens and onion omelette.

Steak, garden beans and garden salad with sprouts.

Some of the harvest before they became pickles and stuffed zucchini.

Cookies left over from mom & dad's anniversary party.

Breakfast in Plattsburgh post wedding of a friend... No worries, gluten free is making a come back.

Restart

I have no qualms with calling it. It has been a crappy summer and while I am 6 pounds down from my summer high, I'm still 8 pounds up from my lowest.

I have a love-hate relationship with summer. I make enormous goals to hit by the end of the summer taking 0 consideration for the fact that all I really need is a break and a breather. I spent this summer spazzing out about my proposal for my PhD when I wasn't working on it, worrying about the feelings and thoughts of men who couldn't give me what I needed, badgering myself with shoulds and castigating myself for past mistakes, and trying to cope with all of it with gluten, sugar, potato chips and garbage, including twitter binges. My detox had a few pretty days, but by and large, it failed to take off.

As cheesy as this sounds, fall is a time of new beginnings. School is starting. The weather is getting breathe-able. Back to stress, but also back to structure. I need to recommit to my health goals. Here's what I want for September:

1. Pumpkin clause

2. Yoga and one fun form of exercise a day.

3. Adios prepackaged, alcohol, & baked goods

4. Hello veggies, lean proteins, whole grains and some fruit 

5. Adios bingeing

6. Hello contemplative eating and better coping mechanisms

7. Adios social media. Using it for what I need with grad school and that's going to be it.

I know we've had this conversation before and how it's ended, but this is my life and I'll be done trying when I'm done breathing.

Day 28-29 stretching my legs & curling up

I think that if anything has a shot at saving me from my demons it's yoga, biking and mindful movement in general. My dedication to them is tantamount in their effectiveness, which is where we run into the ugly from time to time. Yesterday was my first non-yoga day in weeks and you saw the results. The victims or participants in last night's nasty binge are still chilling on the kitchen counter and I'm going to have to find the strength to go down there and make some tea without eating them. I probably should throw them out. It reminds me of having to come face to face at breakfast with someone you were in the throes of passion with the night before but you really aren't sure of. Awkward not sure what to say or how to make eye contact. I really really dislike my food issues.

They wound up with a home in my belly and I felt like garbage most of yesterday. Coping with all of this stress right now is hurting. A lot.

Today I had a lot of grapes with feta cheese.

Homemade spring rolls:

Chopped Bok Choy, Napa, ginger, cilantro and sprouts sautéed in sesame oil and oyster sauce and rolled in rice wrappers. So good.

I made chicken wings tonight.

Trying to work through crappy feeling and being blocked with Audrey Hepburn movies and tea. Breathing a lot.

August 22-24 days 25-27

Thursday went off without a hitch despite zero sleep on Wednesday night.

I had a date and we did hot pot together.

We also had cucumber melon salad, spring rolls and meringues for desert. The spring rolls weren't my best work, but tasty day all in all.

I felt off yesterday. 

I was nervous about grad work and the guy I saw Thursday night and got bingey on the left over meringues. I finished the cucumber melon salad, did hot pot and rice for dinner and then had a bag of pretzels. It was my first bad binge in a couple of weeks. I took a tea to counteract and I've been home with a stomach ache so far today.

Today I've had tea, kombucha, rice protein and honey for breakfast. Looking at a spinach and melon smoothie and cucumber salad for lunch. Spending the afternoon figuring out my literature review and basking in this gorgeous sun.

Felt super unfocused this afternoon and evening. Went to a fire at a friend's house and had a couple of drinks.

And the stress of not having grad work done caught up with me tonight. These eating issues have been ugly the past two nights. Took something to counter again and I'm hoping it's less painful than yesterday. I've got to get through this in a more refined fashion.

22-24 ice cream?

Monday:

Detox tea

Chinese for lunch. Egg roll, wonton soup, chicken with broccoli, steak with peppers, almond shrimp.

Mom's for dinner. Tilapia on the grill, cucumbers and tomatoes, rice, and watermelon. Turkey, honey and chia seeds for a snack.

Tuesday:

Detox tea

Didn't eat until late. Protein and honey shake. Pizza and salad.  Fruit, honey and flax seeds for dessert.

Wednesday:

Detox tea

Ice cream: 1 cup of soft serve raspberry with butterscotch dip.

Rotisserie chicken.

Apple

Baby cone of vanilla with rainbow sprinkles- Mom's treat

Kombucha 

Honey and chia

Still within my calories for the day!