I think a huge issue for me in food and life right now is perception. I don't feel like anything is coming easily to me. I feel like I'm on an obstacle course or fighting with everyone I come into contact with for the things that I need or treating me in ways that I think common decency should provoke them to treat me.
And in response, I've tried to treat them as well as I can convince myself and dug my heels into to fight and weather the rest. And once the dust has settled, I've berated myself for the way others have acted and for the fact I wasn't graceful enough. I've eaten perfectly vegan and soy and gluten free, but still managed to binge my way into a 4.5 pound weight gain.
I'm exhausted and tired of fighting y own reactions more than anything else).
What I need to remember is that every time there's a wall or a mountain in front of me, they aren't there to stop me completely. They're there to make me remember that I have a bunch of tools at my disposal and that I need to know how to use them and how to be grateful for their existence.
I'm spending an evening out and trying to get my head straight. I'll post what's been up in the kitchen when I'm more inclined to share the good stuff.
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